214: “Don’t Suffer Twice” (Pivot Crossover)

Today’s solo riff is on a three-word phrase that has helped quell countless waves of anxiety in the decade since I first heard it, wisdom passed from my friend Monica McCarthy's (aka MonBon’s) mom then to the pages of Pivot. Pardon the occasional panting (lol) and background noise—err New York City soundscape—as I recorded this one on a big hill at the park, running up and down while throwing a giant log for Ryder to chase. He chases sticks, I chase ideas!

This crossover episode originally aired on the Pivot podcast on April 2, 2023.

🌟 3 Key Takeaways

• Memento Mori, though it is by definition morbid, is a practice of reminding ourselves that we (and our loved ones) will die. As the monks at Wat Umong temple hand-wrote on a note posted to a tree, “Remember: In 100 years, all new people.” How can you allow this reality to inform how you engage in relationships without leading to excessive anxiety or worry?

• The Second Arrow: Notice when you are suffering because of a story you are telling yourself after a painful event, grinding the gears of a problem and making it worse long after the fact.

• Remember, “Worry is praying for what you don’t want.” Try not to worry for or about others either; it’s not a nice energy to project or to feel.

✅ Next Action

If you notice yourself worrying or anxious, try to remind yourself of those three little words from MonBon's mom: Don't suffer twice.

📚Books Mentioned

• Life After College

• Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One

• Free Time: Lose The Busywork, Love Your Business

• The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves by Stephen Grosz

• When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron

• Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead by Tosha Silver

• Change Me Prayers: The Hidden Power of Spiritual Surrender by Tosha Silver

🔗 Resources

• Articles: Many Animals—Including Your Dog—May Have Horrible Short-Term Memories

• Memento Mori

• The Second Arrow

• People: Monica McCarthy

• Tosha Silver

• Penney Peirce

🎧 Related Podcast Episodes

• Pivot: 312: Are You Future-Tripping?

• Jenny & Penney Show (Spotify playlist)

• Slow Cooked vs. Pressure Cooker

• Free Time: 170: 🌈 “Imagine a World of Abundance” ✨

• 172: Free Time Isn’t Just for the Fun Days

• 138: ⛵️ Stop Sailing the Sea of Shiny Shoulds

❤️ Enjoying the show? Please leave a rating or review :)

💬 I’d love to hear what’s on your mind! Take the Free Time listener survey

🎧 Make sure you’re subscribed wherever you listen to ‘casts: http://pod.link/freetime

📝 Check out full show notes and links from this episode and share it with a friend!

💌 Subscribe to the Time Well Spent newsletter: http://itsfreetime.com/join